All over the damn place.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hillo
You: ho!
Stranger: hohoho..
Stranger: hows going
Stranger: i mean*
You: pretty good, santa. and you?
Stranger: im fine.. just call me Dan its allright ;)
You: that's a nickname i never heard for santa
Stranger: listen.. Not for being angry but im NOT.. SANTA ... IM A FREAKING POWER RANGER
You: yeah yeah yeah, whatever you say power santa. listen, i have a question for you: how do you maintain capital? how do you maintain your bottom line? how do you pay your elves? HOW CAN YOU AFFORD THIS PRESENT SHIT?
Stranger: i have magical power ..
You: freaky
Stranger: use your brain
You: ouch
You: santa's a bully
Stranger: no presents for you this year
You: oh come on, man. i'm just askin!
You: i'm curious!
Stranger: so... then u can have a Morgan Freeman DVD XXXX u know
You: for X's? is that like.... ultra-porn?
You: whoops
You: *four
Stranger: He is with Bruce Willies ;)?
You: is it actually bruce willis or is it a dude with a clever bruce willis-sex-pun name?
Stranger: bruce willis fuckd by morgan freeman XXXX-ultra porn version ultra effects ¨:))
You: well that's just insane
You: how'd they even get them to do that?
Stranger: you know..
Stranger: obama told them to do
You: so.... santa.... have you had a CAT scan recently?
Stranger: no son...but it clear that i dont have aids :)
You: hmmm. you should google "CAT scan"
Stranger: my mom told me not to do it
You: your mom is still alive? but aren't you like 9 billion years old or whatever?
Stranger: no coca cola bought a new santa.
Stranger: the other died.
You: oh shit
Stranger: on a car crash
You: do you look the same?
Stranger: of course..
Stranger: coca cola has cash $$$
You: so you got crazy surgery? this is nuts.
You: i can hardly believe this is 100% true.
Stranger: you should
You: i guess i have no real reason not to
Stranger: well can you keep a scret..
Stranger: secret
You: sure
Stranger: im gonna be on the next ''2 girls 1santa''
Stranger: but the 2 girls isnt girls but 2 black males.
You: THAT'S SO AWESOME
You: STILL AWESOME
Stranger: dont tell your mom or dad
You: why not?
You: they are huge fans!
Stranger: are u sure?
You: yep!
Stranger: then tell them.. but just them!!1
You: ok, i will
Stranger: what are is name yours??
You: WHAT?
Stranger: let me guess your name
You: ok
Stranger: then i can prov my magical power
You: right
Stranger: your name is......
Stranger: .....
Stranger: STRANGER
You: OMG YES!
Stranger: im good
You: but i wouldn't expect anything less from super power ranger santa composite surgery man
Stranger: LOOK BEHIND YOU ITS THAT CREAPY SAW GUY DOOL
You: :ODHP*DYPS(*ydhc9uishc;oixsh[98cy9zdsohc
You: wahhh!
Stranger: you are awesome son
You: thanks, santa-dad!
Stranger: no problemos..
Stranger: im accelty a pedofile.. Nobody has discovered yet ... i give little children presents for free, and im fat, my penis is little.
You: i kind of guessed
You: i called the police like six minutes ago. they're tracking your IP.
Stranger: NO SHIT
Stranger: Knock knock..
You: who's there?
Stranger: dis..
You: eh?
Stranger: then u say (dis whoo???)
You: ah ok
You: dis who?
Stranger: dis-connect
Stranger: HE HE
You: ok!
Stranger: no im just kidding
You: i'm not!
You have disconnected.