This seems cooler than it is, but I don't care.

Weekends are so advanced, they encompass the entire week.

Might have been guess, but I don't care.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: tupac or biggie?
Stranger: wat
You: pick one
Stranger: biggie
You: correct
You have disconnected.

Uncreative dude. Didn't expect me to be serious.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: my dog ate one of my testicles...
Stranger: what do I do?!
You: really? how recent?
Stranger: like six years ago
You: well... have you received medical treatment and stuff?
You: i mean, you are all healed and no infection and all that?
Stranger: no! i've been hot glueing oranges there and pretending I'm normal.
You: welll...
You: if your other nut is the size of an orange, i think it takes care of the problem. an orange-sized nut is equal to two normal nuts
Stranger: I have STDs
You: oh really? well, i don't see how that relates. probably from all the activities that require dogs to be near your junk.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I did!

This is how I look every morning, actually.

Did Frankenstein and MF Doom have a kid?